Sybil-tot, but in a good way…

So I was looking back through some pictures I had taken in the fall, and had to laugh.  This is Tot’s interpretative dance, or perhaps it’s her multiple personalities…

First she starts with a little Tai Chi….

Then says a little prayer.

She decides to cast a spell, probably on me….

She has to calm down, so a little meditation is in order.

Crank up the orchestra – it’s time to conduct!

Oh, time out!

Woe is me….

Did I really just do all that in public?  Oh, I am a Loser….   with a big fat “L”.

Okay, maybe it just looks like she’s saying that.

Anticipation…

You probably can’t wait to see our new kitchen, hunh?

Well, quite honestly, neither can I…

Yes, it is STILL not done.  We’re sooo close, but it seems to be following that age old rule.  The first  90% of the job takes 90% of the scheduled time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time….   Hmmm, maybe contractors never learn to tell time, or do math.

To keep you entertained in the meantime, I composed a little song.  I’m sure you can figure out the tune.

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A Few of My Favorite Things

Touch turn-on faucets and refinished floors   Black soapstone counters and cherry shaker doors   Subcontractor jobs that come with no strings   These are a few of my favorite things

Bright light all over and a room filled with grace   Large granite basins and  a sense of more space    French-door iceboxes with Tots stuck inside them    These are a few of my favorite gems.

Convection ovens to make apple streudels    Swinging pot fillers  to boil our noodles   Frig alarms and timers set up to sing   These are a few of my favorite things

Antique glass cabinets filled with white dishes   All in a kitchen thats made to my wishes   Moss green slate backsplash that harks back to spring   These are a few of my favorite things

When the work stalls   When the Tot clings   When I’m feeling sad   I simply remember my favorite things   And then I don’t feel so bad

And yes, I spent WAY more time on this post than I should have…

But you’re worth it.

The View from my office…

I’ve sequestered myself in the dining room with a year’s worth of receipts in order to prepare myself for doing our TAXES.  Ick, double ick, and even a helping of UGH.  Okay, in reality, there’s lots of swearing going on in my head.  Occasionally something goes vocal, and don’t be surprised if you hear Tot swear in pig latin.  In any case, I have bags and boxes of stuff all over the place and Pickles took up residence in one of my boxes, right on top of all the contents.  Tot, of course, needed a box too.  And the jealousy began.

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This one I call:

A box o’ Tot with a side of Pickles.

Well, Shiver me Timbers, Picklepuss!

Pickles’ peg leg inspired his latest persona….

It’s dangerous around here, the pirates have taken over…  Send help!

And that annoying little parrot is really getting on my nerves.  All I hear is:

“Arrrr!!! Ahoy there, Maties!   Swab those decks, or ye’ll be shark bait, squiffies! “

What a Difference a Day makes!

Seems like just yesterday that Tot was falling off a sheep… well maybe a month ago in Arkansas.

But these pictures were taken Thursday when it got up to 64 degrees.  The park was a busy place.

And yesterday, we got snow – about 3-4 inches.  These were taken this morning.  If it hadn’t turned to sleet, we cold have had 9 -12 inches of the fluffy stuff.  Gotta enjoy it while it lasts, ’cause it won’t be long.  After an hour of bundling up, we managed to get out the door but she could barely move.  The well known Michelin Man syndrome.  Notice the resemblance?

First came the long walk, where mom had to carry the Tot, because Mr.Tot had gone back to get the car for the return trip, and Tot insisted on making snow angels and walking in the deep snow at a rate of 2 inches per hour.  I carried her in order to not miss our neighbors who got there earlier, and not freeze in the rather heavy sleet.  Then came the olympic sledding portion of the program, which felt a bit like using your face as a snow plow, and led to the inevitable getting-back-up-the-hill phase.

It started this way….

And turned into this…

Which turned into this – apres-sled phase, but not before pitching a fit about making a snowman.  This changed to a snow bunny when the snow didn’t cooperate, but our snow bunny was pretty pathetic and she finally agreed to a hot chocolate consolation prize.  She was the only little kid who wasn’t complaining bitterly about the cold, though she did cry when I took her mittens off and her fingers started to defrost.

She’s already back outside on the porch and has gone through 3 pair of mittens so far and needed one rescue – simply to get up.   Mr.Tot is in the midst of his long winter’s nap.   And I in my cap… want one too.  But someone’s gotta make sure the Tot doesn’t become a Totsicle.  Speaking of which – she calls icicles “iselers” with no prompting whatsoever.  Iseler is my maiden name…

Late breaking melt down alert – Mom won’t come outside and blow bubbles with me – someone call Child Protective Services!!

Mr.Sandman, I love you!

As I look back at some earlier posts, I realize I may have presented a slightly negative impression of my perfect little daughter.  Well, perfect except for tonight, when while dining at a nice restaurant, we had to feed her dinner under the table like a feral cat because she wouldn’t sit in her seat except to pitch herself against me endlessly.  Why is it they pick the most embarrassing times to act up?

For months, she and I were both slightly (and I say that with heavy sarcasm) sleep deprived until we got her my new invention, which I dreamed up in late August.  It only took until mid-December to become desperate enough to make one — a  Craftmatic/Temperpedic/vibrating Carseat combo that made bedtime less painful for both of us, mostly me, but who’s going to quibble?    Look at that face — do you want to mess with her?

Truth be told, Mr.Tot and I discussed getting Tot a real bed (no restraint system included, honest) in part for her sake and in part for ours, because we spent almost as many hours on her little twin air mattress as she did.  However, the conversation went something like this.   Me: Honey, I think we should get Tot a real bed.  The air mattress is cold and I think she might be waking up because she’s cold.  Also it’s really hard to get up off it without waking her up as well.   Mr.Tot:  Screw that!  If anyone’s getting a new bed, we are!   Said while pointing to the cast and crew of 3 sleeping cats.  The mattresses can trickle down  through the ranks.  Blondie gets our Queen size, and Tot gets Blondie’s full size.

Upon further thought, this was actually a brilliant idea.  We had gotten a pillow top mattress almost 6 years ago, and…  since you can’t flip it, it is now rather saggy.  However, Blondie was thrilled to get it.  And if Tot had a full size mattress, it would be far more difficult for Tot to fall off the bed while doing her flips and contortions through the night, plus there was more room for snuggling together.

My main objection was the expense involved in buying a Queen size mattress.  I was hoping a get a nice CHEAP twin size mattress for Tot.  However, I happened to actually read my junk e-mail from Costco and found a memory foam Queen sized mattress for a mere $300.  Mr.Tot had been lobbying for a Temperpedic mattress for ages.  The gods had smiled upon us.  We ordered the Costco blue light special immediately.  Just before Christmas we played musical mattresses.  Tot was THRILLED to get her new full-size mattress and boxspring.  And we lived happily ever after.

No, I’m serious.  That was the end of all our Tot-induced sleep problems.  (I say Tot-induced, because I still have my erratic sleep patterns and Mr.Tot still has some sleep-issue side-effects from migraine  meds.)  But Tot even falls asleep faster now which means risk of injury during the violent snuggling phase is greatly reduced. (There were 2 on the bed when the little one said Kerpow!)  This was not entirely the end of our lack of free time problems, however, as now we fall asleep with the Tot and unless the other one remembers to extricate the one on duty in a timely fashion, we can stay there until its time to go to bed, but at least we are comfortable and warm. However even this problem has been minimized, as we are not summoned out of bed at all hours of the night, and therefore not utterly and completely exhausted on a continuing basis.

I am back to enjoying most of my Tot-time.  And she seems happier too.  Exhibit A — dance class fever.  Whew.  We should have gotten her a real bed a LONG time ago.   A good night’s sleep really does make a BIG difference.   Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the kitty committee seems happier and more well rested too.  Good thing — they can get PRETTY cranky!

Drum Roll Please….. Introducing Pickled Slate!

Okay, so I know we just put our living room back together, but I still had to tidy it up to take pictures.  That’s how we roll at my house.  But, 2010 is gonna be different.  Watch out Entropy, I am waging WAR!  But I digress.  Please submit your Oohs and aaHHHs to the

comments section.   Mr.Tot battled the slate and won, and I halped.  (a little bit – days and months and years of scrubbing grout off the tile rolled into a day or two)  I tried to avoid it all by fleeing the state, but I couldn’t hold out long enough.   I would like to draw your attention to

the tower of cups, I mean the rainbow robot engineered by the one and only Miss Tot, the angel wings which Miss Tot cannot seem to maintain, and the very discerning floor inspector, Pickles aka MyBigWhiteCat.  And if any one of you comments on the grout we missed, you are more than welcome to come and scrub it yourself.  And by the way, our floor grows pennies, I swear!   Seems like every time I turn around, another one shows up….

Tot-in-the-Box

Need I say more?

Santa Baby – you’re my alibi

Reader, forgive me for I have lapsed.  It’s been almost 3 weeks since my last confession post.  But with a distraction like this one, can you blame me?

Actually, I drove or was driven a total of 27 hours, flew 2300 miles, acquired new inlaws, swam, played golf, built a snow chicken (sorry, no pictures), played umpteen hours of cards, laughed and cringed through hours of Guitar Hero (I’m just saying), scrubbed harder than Cinderella to get the grout off our slate tiles,  got banned from my own house, had a wonderful houseguest who literally straightened me out, and, OH suffered mightily when my laptop DIED while in a strange land and my brother left me high and dry without internet.  BTW, the kitchen is STILL not done….  And more company arrives Thursday…  Am I forgiven yet?

What if I promise pictures of our overhauled living room complete with new slate floor?   More kitchen pictures?  More Tot pictures?   Done, done and done, but for now, I’m headed to bed.  This is the blog of Mañana.

All I want for Christmas is my kitchen back, counter black, no more snacks, stuff unpacked, stay on track, Tot to quack and a paddywhack

So we are in a home stretch of our kitchen remodel, with the countertops going in 2 days before Christmas, and water hooked up Christmas eve, but no upper cabinets or all those finishing touches like cabinets shelves and doors, and outlets so you can actually plug in those pesky kitchen appliances.  Fortunately our Christmas company were the ultimate in easy going, and smiled through my craziness and casual dining on leftovers for our Christmas feast.   Despite our kitchen being nearly done, most of the contents were still located in the dining room or garage or somewhere yet to be determined, which made for lots of exercise, and memory workout since most things had been relocated several times.  I think I blew the fuse on my memory circuits a few times, trying to find critical items like muffin tins which might explain the subsequent omission of eggs in the recipe.  Oops.   Did I mention that Mr.Tot was not sufficiently project-ized by Monster Kitchen, so he decided to take on another mamoth project the day after Christmas:  floor remodel, which currently seems to be winning the fight, as Mr.Tot was KO’d and seems to be down for the count.  Tot and I evacuated to the southern climates to avoid the violence and bloodshed.  We will return when the dust has settled and not before…  Though I brought my 2 grocery bags full of mail and bills with me, so Tot may witness a little violence and bloodshed after all.

Meanwhile I have had a few moments to reflect on the past few months.

I can see clearly now the 8 stages of kitchen remodel hell.

1) Oooh, ahhhhh    aka “planning”

2)  Oh shite, what have we done?    aka “demolition”

3)  Wait, you mean we have no (insert here – *anything* – water, lights, oven, stove, dishwasher, clean air, clean house, lack of clutter, usable garage, money in the checking account, sanity,  etc)???!!!   This will last for the bulk of the project -approximately 99% of the schedule.  aka “working on it”

4) Resolve dissolves:  Dishes needing washing give way to disposable dishes.  You range farther and farther from your dietary norm to keep the natives at bay.  The dining out limit of once per week gives way, the dam breaks, all is lost.  Abandon ship!

5) And then in the last 10 minutes of the race, your dream kitchen magically comes together…  in your dreams.  Your real kitchen however, will be beset and besmirched and occasionally upgraded, by schmucky sub-contractors that you hired yourself, other people’s delays, wives running off with funds, and happy contractor friend wanting to sleep more than 5 hours a night.  Unbelievable!!!   The promise of kitchen keeps you drooling and hanging on every scheduled bit and piece.

6)  Finally 75% of your dream kitchen does come together and the drool starts to flow.  And the itch to move the contents back in nearly drives you crazy.  But wait…   Patience grasshopper.   Wait, and wait, and wait some more….  Find solace in making your neighbors jealous with your soapstone countertops.

7)  A watched pot never boils, so leave town.

8)  Can’t see this stage ’cause I left town….  To be continued….

Things I have learned not having a kitchen

- a vessel sink with a high pressure faucet makes an excellent shower

- forget diamonds, a dishwasher is a girl’s best friend

- it’s easier to be environmentally-friendly when you have a dishwasher

- My range is a natural predator for junkfood.  Without it, the swiss rolls, cheez-its, and cookies are multiplying — it’s electrifying!

- There’s a reason why cabinets have doors on them so the Tot-inator can’t be tempted by everything she sees

- Skip the jewelry, given me my filtered water dispenser

- In tha absence of filtered water, Seagram’s ginger ale has cast its spell over me

- There are not enough kinds of edible microwavable or toaster oven food to keep one’s stomach from churning for 3 months

- My 2 year old is becoming a dine-out diva – woe is me.

- 18″ wide aisles in a crowded dining room with a Tot hanging on my pant leg induces claustrophobia in about 3 seconds flat

Ohh Santa!!  You got a great start, but I think that bottle of Schnappes got in the way….  Could you come back and finish the job???