What’s YOUR Poopee factor? Warning: It is what it sounds like… Read at your own risk.



  • You don’t count nor does anyone else who takes care of their own business in the bathroom
  • Babies through Toddlers for whom you have to change a diaper = 1 point
  • Kids and adults in diapers = 1 point for every 30 pounds or partial  
  • Dogs that you pick up their poo = 1 point each
  • Cats if you have to tend to their litter box or messes elsewhere = 1 point each

Our Poopee factor is EIGHT, used to be NINE, poor Big Fat Cat.  It should be 6, because we have a fancy self-cleaning cat litter box, but the silly thing always thinks the cartridge is empty, so we end up unplugging it, and trying to keep the cats outside, but then our wonderful Ms.Romie keeps letting one furry black butt back in!!  Every time I turn around there’s the devil.  And really Little Bro is only here part-time so mostly we’re a 3 with spikes to 8, but still.  Mr. Tot has some lovely stories revolving around Little Bro’s prolific production capability.  We even have a name for particularly messy occurrences – a “twenty-three-nineteen” from the movie, Monsters, Inc, when the monster world gets contaminated by the kids, they announce their emergency in code – 23-19 over the loud-speaker, much like Walmart and K-mart do.  Have you ever been in one of those stores when they announce a code?  Makes you wonder what the heck happened, and all sorts of crazy things leap to mind.  

Mr.Tot and our neighbors want us to get another cat.  The neighbors want some pest control – evidently our current 2 are slackers, either that or very committed to home base, because we don’t seem to have a problem.  Anyway, if we do get another cat and Tot ever manages to get a little brother or sister, that will move us up to 10, although hopefully Tot will be potty-trained by then, because there’s at least 9 months before she’s getting a sib, so I guess we would be a 9, although Little Bro may pass the 90 pound mark by then, so we would be a 10.  Hmmm, there must be a limit.  Do we get bonus points in heaven the higher our score is?

Then there’s the invasion of privacy by the little ones.  It gets a little excessive when Tot wants to help with the toilet paper.  No, thanks, Tot – I can manage.  It seems like this sort of thing should enter the rating scale, but I’m just not sure how.  Yes, she can open and close doors, so nothing is sacred.  I don’t have enough memory left to remember to lock the door…

The scary thing is if one or more of the poopee creators is sick, talk often revolves around the poo.  Conversations get rather pathetic. Or when Barkylthorpe sneaks an unapproved snack, like crayons.  “How many colors were there?”  or “Hmm, pepperoni didn’t agree with her, hunh?”   Sometimes it gets a lot more graphic, but I’ll spare you the details.  Did you know the antibiotics can make poo odorless? and actually colorless too, well not clear, just white.  So Godgram claims – her daughter was given a mega-dose in another country when she was a toddler.  Interesting facts you didn’t want to know.  And evidently teething can make poo smell even worse than it normally does, though I admit, I, myself, was not so discerning.  That observation came from Mr. Roomie who survived 4 kids.  Then, of course, there are those hopefully rare times, when kids or others who don’t normally rate a point, get sick and rate a whole lot of points, however briefly.  Let’s just leave it at that….

Here’s hoping your poopee factor is LOW, and not invading your conversations….


0 Responses to “What’s YOUR Poopee factor? Warning: It is what it sounds like… Read at your own risk.”

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